Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein Ch. 3: Section 8 Margaritaville

It's like a vacation in a can!

Another week has gone by, heralding another chapter in the ongoing diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein.  After last week’s misfortune, you might think I’d be wary of crazy-potent malt liquor claiming to taste like a tropical cocktail.  If you did think that though, you don’t know me very well.  I don’t learn lessons, and these things will continue to lure me in as long as they make them.   Therefore, tonight I will be taking substantial risks and rocking a margarita flavored Spiked Core.

Spiked Core is manufactured by Charge Beverage Company, and is one of many similar malt beverage brands that were decaffeinated by the government in 2010 (along with Four Loko, Joose, etc).  I only found out that the brand is actually “Spiked Core” after extensive Google searching, by the way.  The word “spiked” is indeed on the can but it looks like more of a descriptor than part of the product name.  And I’m not sure there is an unspiked Core, so it seems excessive.

Buffet is apprehensive!

“But is it any good?”, wonders singer and noted margarita enthusiast Jimmy Buffet.  “Will you be wasting away again in Margaritaville, or is this like a one-time deal?”.  Well to answer Mr. Buffet’s questions, it’s certainly not bad.  Nowhere near last week’s Piña Colada nightmare.  I would say the flavor is along the lines of what would happen if Taco Bell got a liquor license.  Sure you can get a better margarita, but it’s unlikely to be cheaper.

I’m actually going to go so far as to say this would be pretty incredible if you used it in a blender that could make good frozen drinks.  I can see it being pretty hard to distinguish from a real margarita with just a couple easy additives, and you could get all your friends wrecked poolside on the cheap, while you bogart that entire bottle of tequila for another day.

So yeah, if you’re a casual margarita fan who’s not gonna freak out if the bartender didn’t use Patron Platinum, or if you’re looking for a cheap tailgate solution at the next Jimmy Buffet show, I’d actually recommend this stuff pretty strongly.  Just head down past the Margaritaville projects to the mini mart (the one right next to Margaritaville Wireless), and pick up a couple cans.  Tell ’em Scumdogg sent ya.


About Ryan Searles

I like watching movies, and then talking about those movies. Sometimes I write things about them, which you should read. Other interests include boxed wine, video games, the works of Harlan Ellison and HG Wells, and being a general curmudgeon.

Posted on August 20, 2011, in SCIENCE!, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

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