Blog Archives

Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein Ch. 18: On the Joose

I’ll just be honest here, normally I wouldn’t bother dusting off my lab coat for a Joose review.  Not that it’s necessarily bad or anything, it’s just that the flavors tend to get released in lockstep with their main competitor Four Loko, so there’s just no reason to bother.  Except for Dragon Joose I guess, but I got that mostly because I’m a sucker for things about dragons-even drinks, apparently.  And even that just ended up being grape.  Nothing to write the Internet about.  Now Sweet Peach Iced Tea and Mango,  that’s super exciting right?  How about if I drink both?  Yeah, now we’re talking!

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Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein Ch 12: The “small” can is still sixteen ounces

I know, I know…only twelve weeks in and I’m already looping back to brands I’ve previously covered.  I still have plenty of new stuff in mind, I assure you.  I saw these for the first time a couple weeks ago though, and they’ve been distracting me!  Poco Loko: two thirds the size and alcohol content of a standard issue Four Loko, at 16oz and 8% respectively.  Normally I wouldn’t even care about something smaller and weaker than the flagship product, but this was a four pack for $4, so it’s still getting more for cheaper.  Plus it’s mango!

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Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein Ch 11: Dungeons and Dragon Joose

 

The Bumwine Chronicles have come and gone, and now it is time for Dr. Drankenstein to return to his carbonated, sugar-engorged roots.  And what better way to make a stylish return to form than with a drink marketed towards dragons (or at least dragon enthusiasts)?  This drink is definitely unique for its category, in that it’s not directly named for the flavor it is, nor does it contain any information on the can about what flavor it might in fact be.  I’m going to go out on a limb though, and guess that Dragon Joose is probably grape.

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Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein Ch. 5: Strawbizzle Lemonizzle

As is customary on Fridays, I welcome you, the reader, back to the hidden volcano lair of Dr. Drankenstein and his refrigerator of terrors.  I am your host for the evening, the one and only Dr. Drankenstein!  This weekend I’ll be reviewing my classiest drink yet, Strawberry Lemonade Blast, by Colt 45.  Does it, in fact, Work Every Time?  Let’s find out, shall we?

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Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein, Ch. 4: Carpe Noctem!

Welcome back to everyone’s favorite thing about Friday (especially mine), The Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein!  Now usually I just go grab something from a local mini mart the night before a new installment.  But I actually acquired this week’s drank in a truck stop gas station in the middle of nowhere almost a full week ago, so I’m even more eager than usual to get this party started.

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Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein Ch. 3: Section 8 Margaritaville

It's like a vacation in a can!

Another week has gone by, heralding another chapter in the ongoing diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein.  After last week’s misfortune, you might think I’d be wary of crazy-potent malt liquor claiming to taste like a tropical cocktail.  If you did think that though, you don’t know me very well.  I don’t learn lessons, and these things will continue to lure me in as long as they make them.   Therefore, tonight I will be taking substantial risks and rocking a margarita flavored Spiked Core.

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Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein Ch. 2: Do you like Piña Coladas?

Only hardcore legends need apply.

Today is Friday, and even according to my hobo calendar where all days are the same, that means another installation of the Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein!  Last time I brought you the joys of Blueberry Lemonade Four Loko, this time we’ll be experimenting with the horror that is Piña Colada Tilt.   I’m not gonna lie here.  I’ve had this before, and it’s not great.  But I’m drinking it again as a public service for you, the reader.

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Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein, Chapter 1

It's Limited Edition yo.

Greetings, and welcome to the first installment of the Secret Diaries of Dr. Victor Drankenstein, where I’ll be simultaneously drinking and reviewing Four Loko’s limited edition XXX Blueberry Lemonade.

Since relocating to The Wrong Side of the Tracks, Cleveland, all manner of crazy superpowered adult beverages have popped up on my radar.  Probably the most infamous of all these is the dreaded Four Loko.  Debuting in 2005, this line of alcoholic energy drinks rose to nationwide urban legend status by 2010 when a string of college-related incidents forced the manufacturers to remove the caffeine and taurine from their recipe.

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